Conversation Starter: What if? or Would you rather?

I just finished reading Mary Pipher’s WOMEN ROWING NORTH, dubbed, “a guide to wisdom, authenticity, and bliss for women as they age.” It read true to its word, with wisdom for women to keep in mind as they age; I highly recommend it for any woman interested in long lives of happiness and gratitude.

One passage in particular spoke to me where Mary shares a game she plays with her grandchildren called What if? It’s a game that encourages conversation and gets children thinking about how they would behave in different situations. Some examples of What if questions Mary gave are:

• “What would you do if you were about to get in a car with an adult, but you realized she had been drinking?”

• “What would you do if you found $1000 sitting on the sidewalk?”

• “What action would you take if you woke in the night and smelled smoke in the night?”

It reminds me of the classic game Would you rather, which poses alternating funny and deep questions to get kids thinking and to start conversations with the adults in their world.

This is an easy and entertaining way to start meaningful conversations anywhere and at anytime. Use your creativity to ask questions that reinforce your values and your child’s interests. It’s also a great way to help your children build decision-making skills.

Thinking of my own children, these are some questions I might try:

• What if you were able to pick the next school play? What would you pick?

• Would you rather help the community by serving in the soup kitchen, or by making care packages for soldiers overseas?

• What if you weren’t able to dance anymore, how would you keep your love of dance alive?

• What if you created the next great video game? What would it be about?

Now think about your own kids and consider what you’ll ask on your next car drive or over your next meal. Happy chatting!